"Yeah, man. I'm sick of it too. Luv to Naomi, okay? G'bye."
Orlando hung up and threw himself on the couch, scowling fiercely. Couldn't the cunting media
find any real news? Why pick on him? It was bad enough that Heath had to shoot his mouth off
about his part in their bloody affair. Jesus, the twee sound bytes he's had to endure since then.
The sugary banality of it all made his teeth ache.
The price of fame? Bleh.
They'd dug up that quote he could never remember saying. About how he's happily single and
devoted to his work. They couldn't be more wrong about the first part.
Single, yes.
Happily...no.
Orlando walked to the window and looked out over diamond-encrusted Greater Los Angeles. He
was feeling restless tonight. Wired and jet-lagged. An odd combination. Twitchy Orli. He
wanted to go out, but was in no mood for noise and small talk. Maybe he'd just go to bed early
for once. He turned to the pile of luggage sitting by the door and picked something up off the
top of the heap.
On the other hand, maybe he wouldn't.
~~~~~
Elijah pushed away the bowl of popcorn and got to his feet with a sigh. First that weird hang-up
with the unfamiliar number. Now someone was at the door. It was a conspiracy to keep him from
enjoying his movie. He drew the bolt, opened the door and gaped in shock. Something was
coming at him out of the night. Something big, gray and furry with claws extended.
"Mmpff...what the fuck!" He stumbled back, battling fur.
"Surprise!" Orli's head popped up from behind the stuffed koala, all familiar cheeky grin and
unruly curls.
Megawatt eyes leaped to his in an unholy blaze. Orli blinked. Shit. I'd forgotten...
"Orli! You wanker!" The koala was batted away and his arms were suddenly filled with warm
Elijah.
"When did you get in? How long are you staying? Oh, and what the fuck were you trying to do,
give me a heart attack?"
"Flew in this afternoon, staying a week and hey, this is for you." Orli pushed the bear against
Elijah's chest, and its furry arms and velvet claws fitted snugly around his lean torso.
"See, he fits perfectly. Just pretend you're a eucalyptus tree. You smell like one sometimes
anyway." Orli grinned.
"Thanks mate, I'll ignore that. Hmmm...I think I'll call him Obie." Elijah hugged the koala and
flashed him a lop-sided grin.
"Obie....OB? Hey, that's me!" Orli protested. "You can't call him that!"
"Why not? He's just what I needed to keep me warm, and look...he clings!" Giggling, Elijah
raised his arms and sure enough, the thing clung to his body like a limpet .
Still laughing, he tossed the toy on the couch and headed for the kitchen.
"Here, make yourself comfy. Want a beer? I'm having one."
"Sure." Orli watched him go. He wore his usual tee-shirt and a pair of cotton drawstring pants
that hung low on his hips and hugged his ass. Looked like he wasn't wearing anything under it
too.
Elijah returned with the beers and joined Orli on the couch. He hit the remote and the movie
came back on.
"Dude! 'When Harry Met Sally'? That's a 'chick flick'. You need to watch that with
a...um...girlfriend!" Orli cursed his tongue.
"So? Don't see one here - are you volunteering?" Elijah smiled innocently at his friend's
confusion. "Nah, I just like Billy and Meg, that's all. It's a good movie. Great script."
He turned his attention to the screen.
Orli stirred restlessly. "Um...Lijah? Talked with Ian M. the other day. He says 'hi'."
Elijah twisted around to look at him. "Ian? How's the old wizard?"
"Still poncing around - like always," Orli paused. " He, um, goes to this gay website sometimes
and...uh...he told me that..."
"...Dom and I were mentioned there?" Elijah shrugged. "Yeah, I heard about that too. Too much
horsing around during that convention thing."
" So...erm..." Orli felt his face heat up.
"Is there any truth to it? Well, we've fooled around a bit - but you knew about that - New
Zealand, remember." Lijah's pale skin reddened. "I love the guy, but no, we're not an 'item'. Just
really comfortable with each other. Besides, "he rubbed at his neck reminiscently, "his stubble
and I don't get along very well."
"Jesus, Lij, I'm sorry - I sound like a prying spinster. I'll shut up now." What the fuck is wrong
with me? Orli wondered. I don't usually embarrass this easily.
He leaned back with a sigh. "I really miss it, you know? New Zealand was this perfect bubble of
time, like those glass paperweights with vignettes in them that you shake to make the snow fall.
It's been so long since we had the time to talk like this. And the media - God, I dread the next
round of publicity for the Two Towers."
Elijah nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, they've been gunning for you lately, haven't they. You're
filming 'The Calcium Kid' soon, aren't you?" He leered at his friend. "Make sure you don't get that
pretty face punched up, huh?"
He got to his feet. "Uh, I'm gonna grab another beer. One for you?"
"Yeah, thanks." Orli replied morosely.
Elijah opened the fridge door and hunkered down, leaning his forehead on a shelf. Hopefully the
cold air would cool his heated face down. His face and other parts of him. He hadn't expected
this, wasn't prepared for it. Damn Orli, anyhow. Him and his surprises.
"'Ey, what's taking you so long? Got any crisps?" Orli's inquisitive face peered over the fridge
door. Elijah straightened up with a gasp. And banged his head painfully on the freezer shelf.
"Shit! Okay, I'll make more popcorn." Elijah rubbed at his head ruefully. "Just go - sit."
Elijah remembered something as he walked back to the couch with the bowl.
"Hey, Orli. Since when have you become a yenta?"
Orli sat up, puzzled. "A what?"
"Yenta. Y'know, 'Fiddler on the Roof?" Elijah jumped up, pulling the woolen throw with him. He
threw it around his shoulders, and clasped his hands under his chin with a soulful look.
"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...find me a find, catch me a catch..." he sang,
slightly off key. "Matchmaker, matchmaker look through your...hey!"
He yelped as he caught the koala full in the face. He fielded it back, giggling, and caught Orli's
arm as he was raising his beer to his lips, redirecting the stream onto his chest. Orli sprang up
with a curse, sniffing at himself in dismay.
"Fuck! I'm sorry - here, dump that shirt in the bathroom and look in my closet for something to
wear. I'm sure I've got something that'll fit you." Lij pushed him toward the bedroom.
"Go on! You're dripping!"
Lijah carted the bottles to the kitchen and wiped the couch off. Then he settled back with Obie
and turned the movie back on. A sudden thought struck him and his face paled. He shot to his
feet and turned toward the bedroom.
"Lijah?" Orli stood at the door, his torso bare, a shirt in his hand.
No answer. Elijah was silent, his face buried in Obie's fur.
"Lij, what is my shirt doing here?" Orli asked, walking slowly toward him.
Elijah raised his head, spots of color blooming on his pale cheeks.
"Uh, remember that quick shopping trip in Wellington? You wanted to wear the shirt you bought,
and that," he nodded at the offending item, "ended up in my shopping bag."
Orli favored him with an unreadable look. "You didn't make your bed, and I found it there." He
sniffed at the shirt. "And it hasn't been washed, either. That was over a month ago."
"Elijah? Look at me." Orli came closer. "Lijah?"
Elijah looked at him, sapphire eyes widening as he took in the expression on Orli's face. He
searched desperately for something to say, words that would allow him to salvage his pride.
"I need a matchmaker," he whispered. "Is there one available?"
"Yeah." Orli returned, his eyes on his friend's soft lips. "The best."
"I want the perfect match." Elijah whispered.
"You'll get it." Orli's gaze dropped lower.
"He's got to be as handsome as anything."
"Um, that might be a problem. Would you settle for moderately good-looking?" Orli moved
closer.
"I want to be the envy of all I see." Elijah smiled.
"You will be." Orli's breath was warm on his face.
The rest of the song was forgotten.
Their lips met hungrily, need fanned to white heat by months of denial. Harry and Sally made out
in the background as they explored, and touched, and learned what made the other moan with
pleasure. Their climax, when it came, shattered them, stirred up the shards and melded them
into a seamless whole.
They lay in each other's arms, basking in the afterglow.
"Do I meet your specs, love?" The Matchmaker inquired.
"Perfectly." Elijah replied with a kiss. "I'd recommend you anytime."
End
A.N.: Yenta is yiddish (germanic/hebrew) for, of course, an official matchmaker.
A.N.: Lyrics to Matchmaker, from the movie "Fiddler on the Roof".
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match,
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Matchmaker, matchmaker look through your book,
And find me a perfect match.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, I'll bring the veil,
You bring the groom, slender and pale.
Bring me a ring, for I'm longing to be
The envy of all I see.
For Mama, make him a scholar,
For Papa, make him rich as a king,
For me, well, I wouldn't holler
If he were as handsome as anything.
Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match,
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Night after night, in the dark, I'm alone,
So find me a match of my own...
